Never say NO - says Bond, Kati Bond
In preparation for a training programme for coaches I held I have been reading and thinking about helpful communication in the last weeks. What is “helpful” communication? I define it as communication that connects us even when we disagree, communication where we understand each other even when our opinions differ, communication where our souls meet.
And one simple step how this can be achieved is by never saying No.
Hold on a second – do I really mean it? Yes indeed, I do.
If someone says something you disagree with, you want to say No to – stop. Take a deep breath and then say Yes.
After your first yes take a short break – a break in which you contemplate what it is you can say yes to. And there always is something you can say yes to.
This can be many things:
Yes, I understand that you see things differently; yes, this is also a possible way of looking at things; yes, you have a valuable point. If all of those are not possible for you, then the least you can say yes to is: Yes, I heard what you said.
And then you can make your point:
Yes . . . And maybe
Yes . . . And furthermore
Yes . . . And also.
This does not mean that you should not voice your opinion, that you should always sheepishly agree with everything.
All I am saying is that if you seek to understand the other person, and seek to find a connection and thus open the room between you two, the chances for sustainable results are much bigger.
So you can actively promote good and soulful relationships at work. And this helps you and the world equally.